Evernescent

it’s http://everescentmeter.tumblr.com

I want to be able to follow and answer questions, so I had to set up a new one. Sorry! :C

I hope you’re happy now - we’re back to pretending that the other does not exist. I want to tell you so badly how you’ve hurt me, how I was so in love with you, but would you give me the time of day? No, probably not. I’m merely a girl you used to know, now, and you couldn’t care less how I feel. When she tells you how you’ve hurt me, all the pain yet another person’s caused me this year, I hope you feel guilty, because believe it or not, I still love you. I hope you feel even moderately close to how badly I’ve felt since the day you dropped me like a bag of bricks and moved on - Valentine’s Day.

It was one week after my eighteenth birthday, you star-struck, lustful pet. I hope you enjoy your mononucleosis, your new girlfriend, even after you told me you didn’t want any sort of relationship, now that we’re all off to new places this fall - all you wanted was a lover. But even then, you left me, because that’s all I was - your lover. You only feel platonically for her, from what I know. And if you hurt her, I’ll never forgive you. She doesn’t deserve anything close to how you’ve treated me, love - don’t you dare hurt her heart the way you’ve broken mine.

She’s my friend, too. I could care less that you’re with anyone at all - even who you’re with now - but I want no one I’m friends with hurt, even if you’ve known them much longer than I have. I hope the two of you are happy, _____, and I wish you would love her. I hpe that if she loves you, you would feel the same. And if not, she can move on without skipping a beat. _____, I cannot say that I hate you for all of this, but I’m sad, I’m upset. I hope, when you learn of what you’ve done, that you relish in your thoughts and realize your mistakes, learn from them.

Treat her well, love.

- A__

- April 7, 2012

Cherry blossom,

Poppy-red,

Paradise bird,

Tropical thread.

Crescent like the moon,

Delicate, eternal beauty

Posing before the audience

Like a Marilyn Monroe with wings instead.

Stand out like a red, red rose

Against a teal sky and emerald greens

The gray of the callous, scarred rocks make you look

Like an evangelical, celestial beauty queen.

You’re king of the world, star-crossed pet

A sight of wonder in the sky

Like Peter Pan in Neverland,

You give us dreams that we can fly.

Bubbly, right out of college

She had an aura of sunflowers and daisies

Brought wonder to each class

As we wrote stories of fantastical journies.

Always passionate about what she did

What she taught, what she said

The first-year teacher with a bright, wide smile

And secretly a friend.

She was like the essence of morning dew and lady bugs,

Birds chirping in the early light

It helped us bring together our thinking caps

Because it was time to write.

- April 3, 2012

Dreamer,

Wanderer looking for adventure,

Looking for happiness in a paper box

The pages fill up,

This empty book,

Until the adventure’s done.

But it’s never over,

Ceaseless wonder,

I’ll keep on writing

Until my hands stop moving

And my heart stops beating.

- April 3, 2012

I’m numb - 

Tired of being walked all over,

Used over and over until forever has passed

And I’m stuck here, attached to you,

By that awful attraction we call lust.

I’m sick and tired of it,

Feeling like I’m not good enough,

Worthless, helpless, and lost

Like I’m some unlovable leper

Like I’m the scum of the earth, what the cat dragged in

From the far reaches of the street.

But I’m better than that - 

I’m no doormat for you to walk on,

Use like a punching bag.

I fight my own battles, same as you

And I’m tired of fighting

Tired of trying to impress you, feel your love

Your affection

I’m tired of it all.

I’m tired of everyone leaving - 

Don’t bother coming into my life if you won’t stay

I’m done with all that.

I need people that’ll cherish me, love me for me

I won’t let you watch as you swear

That I’m fading away.

- March 19, 2012

Bright eyes, why do you tremble so?

Hiding in those dark corners,

Shivering in your latent fear

Endangering yourself

By welcoming with open arms, solitude

A nasty little catalyst, that is

Creating ruin out of beauty

Insanity out of reality

Stuck in the dream, the illusion

Can’t you see it’s all a lie?

We’re only drifting downstream

Looking up at the stars

Some day, bright eyes

You’ll have to wake up, sometimes,

And come out of your shell

Your crystalline tears have meaning

Oh, so young, but still you tremble

But you - you, my dear

You must push through

Be all that you are meant to be

Do not let fate get the best of you. 

- March 15, 2012

I’m chasing ghosts in my home town

Traveling down alleyways and long-deserted streets

Checking dead ends, nooks and crannies

For the people I neglected to meet.

All alone, I wander

Seeking old doorways and streetsigns

But those who’ve been here in the past,

They’re long gone, now.

I wonder how it happened htis way

But I just tell myself that it’s life

We start with all those around us

But in the end, we’re all in this alone.

In the beginning, we’re surrounded by lovely people

Who care, nurture, let us grow,

But when we grow old, we lose them all

Until we’re on our last breath in a hospital bed.

What kid of life is this, even worth living?

Our entire lives, we fear isolation

And somehow, we end up there anyway

A fitting end to our lonely souls.

- March 15, 2012